You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
