I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
