1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
