I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
