I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
