it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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