You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
