They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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