You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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