too bad you live with your parents still
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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