I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
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Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Watching her eat just hurts me
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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