Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Duck Duck Cougar?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
