Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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