fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
