One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
