I'm drive I can fine osifer
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
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Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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