Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
