Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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