is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
