not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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