This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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