Your tits are I can't wait for
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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