Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
