I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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