We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Randomize
