I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Who died my cat blue again?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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