Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
