There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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