I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
