It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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