i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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