I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
