I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he thought i was a dude.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
