I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
