I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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