Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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