So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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