So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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