everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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