I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
