i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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