i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
