Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
