I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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