There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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