I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize