hell yes lets make some ravioli
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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