spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize