I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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