Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
