Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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