omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
