I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
