2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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